To make a long story short – I had some thoughts about my past life with women recently. And there was more than one among them who, I thought, I do love. One of them told me the same (if you read one of my first articles carefully, you know why !!). All of them have one thing in common – they are all history now. No more than a blurry memory of the past.

But aren’t these 3 magic words supposed to be the one’s you pronounce only for once in your life?

This idea was extinguished  a long time ago, as I see… Today, there is not only a gigantic recession in marriages, but also among the existing ones, the divorсe rate is enormous.

The values of today’s society have become different. Just like the attitude towards things like family, marriage, even fidelity and faithfulness is abandoned by many people, especially in the western capitalistic civilization, where career has become concern number one. How can people like these speak about love even? If they do not even fulfill the basic things under which this phenomenon can theoretically occur.

Just like honor, honesty and uprightness, love is a word which meaning has been not only abandoned, but even violated.

It’s meaning is not the one it used to be. It is used when someone wants this boy/this girl to be with him/with her. Or when someone just wants to trigger a one-night-stand with such a line. Or when someone meets, or when someone talks to someone on the phone. It has become “too normal” to use a line like that. Inflationary even.

In first line, it is used today to achieve either pleasure or some kind of wealth. Just like in my case, when these words were used to hypnotize me. It took quite a while for me to realize that her actions and her overall attitude did not actually fit to her words.

The worst thing is…

It is not a crime, you cannot be punished for something like that. In other words – there is nothing we can do about that. Probably I will now create an image of a guy who is a kind of sick romantic, but this is actually my point of view. And as I am in company of about 40 nice ladies and gents from all possible countries and nations, I am just curious about what you, folks think about all that! I would be  glad to hear your opinion!

(Sorry that today I decided to cut to the chase instead of endless tirades =))

Probably, I have shared those news to everyone in the university already, but I guess, not yet to Mr. Birkenkrahe.

So, once again, for all and officially.

I would like to dedicate this blog to our comrade, co-student and just a nice guy – Markus Pahl! This one’s goin’ out to you, buddy!!!

It was before the winter-holidays in 2009, I guess one of the last days. It was cost accounting even. And then came Markus and gave me this brochure and said “I thought, maybe it could be useful for you!”.

At home, I took a closer look and stared.

It was a brochure of the Club de Russie, an official business network in Berlin. A special one, though. It was created to establish a common location, forum or even “club” for entrepreneurs, managers and businesspeople from Germany and from the former Soviet Union, namely Russia, Ukraine, Kasachstan etc. By this, it is possible for them to exchange information, to negotiate with each other when it comes to business, find new contacts for work and much more.

Of course a question arises – how do I fit in there?

Answer – I want to work for them. Of course I do not fit into the community of entrepreneurs (yet), but I will be among the team that is acting behind the scenes. Arranging and managing appointments, meetings, conversations and forums for the members.

Surely, it would be too easy if I would get inside there just like this and start making a lot of cash instantly. It was my luck that at the very moment when I looked them up on the inet, they said they look for trainees. For three months, and afterwards, according to what they say, it is possible to become an ordinary employee.

For the 20th of January,  I have an appointment with the boss. Hope it will go fine. Because this is really something I have been dreaming of – to work in the business-sector where my knowledges of both western and eastern languages and cultures are demanded. Interesting to see what the future will bring.

Still, I owe this, once more, to no one else than Markus Pahl! Without him, I would never have got to know this network.

[link to picture]

This is just one of the 12 Islam-caricatures which were illustrated by Kurt Westergaard in the Danish magazine “Jyllands Posten” in 2005. After this, the Arabian world declared war on him and put a contract out on him, because after several warnings he refused to take the caricatures back and apologize officially for the insult committed. A few weeks ago, a Somali assassin got into the house of Westergaard and attempted to murder him. The attempt failed.

That would be an absolutely uninteresting event, if there wouldn’t be a tiny little “but”.

That was, first things first, not the first attempt to knock the fellow mate out. And I suppose, it won’t be the last. All of them for only one reason – retaliation for the insult committed towards Mohammad, the one and only prophet of the Islam world. But that is not all. Westergaards has got a family. At least he does have a grand-daughter and, logically, her parents. And, due to the declared war on him, Kurt was, together with his family members, hiding in secret locations which he changed a lot of times already, in order to get away from his Muslim headhunters. Always under police-survey and always in fear of a sudden assassination.

Isn’t, what he is doing, just foolish?

Instead of taking his bullshit back, saying “I’m sorry, dear Arabs, I learned my lesson, I won’t do so again!”  on TV and finishing this story once and for all, Westergaard keeps his course and stubbornly refuses to step back and let his caricatures down. As a result, he lives like a refugee in his own house and, in addition, brings his relatives in the same danger in which he himself already is. And is forced to keep running from cover to the next shelter and is afraid to die.

And now, the most interesting part.

The world condemns the Putin-regime  for “the lack of freedom of speech”, because the police has beaten up a few anti-Putin demonstrants and so, it is now declared an absoultist regime which suppresses its own citizens. But what the hell is going on in the western part of the globe? Everyone is talking about a deficit in free speech, but is that what everyone wants? A freedom in such a degree, that even death is accepted as a possible consequence of speaking out your mind?

Personally me, I am a foe to such a kind of free speech. I share the slogan – if the people are dumb as lambs, shorten their tongues. Because, as everybody knows, when freedom or might or money gets in the wrong hands, it is abused.

Now back to Mr. Westergaard.

What the heck did he want to express with his caricatures and why does he want to defend them with his life even? The message of it should be like “All Muslims are fanatics who are only out to bomb the world” ? In such a case I would sponsor the next contract killer partly or maybe advice the Arab world to hire a professional. Because fascists and nazis are vermins to whom human rights are not connected.

Long story short – the Western World regards Westergaard like a tremendous martyr who fights for his “right”, defends one of the common values of Europe and America and heroically defies the aggressions of the evil Arab empire. Why? Because he actually insulted a whole culture and, knowing that some Muslims are radical enough to start a vendetta, consciously provoked their wrath?

Well, then I want an award as well! Because I cleaned my kitchen today. Probably nothing spectacular, but at least I did not question anyone’s dignity by this. If that racist piece of shit deserves such an attention for such things he does, why don’t I deserve some attention for being a nice guy and obeying the law, for example?

There are  simply things you don’t make fun of. Indifferent, whether this right is given to you by law or not. It is called basics of ethics and moral. Look it up.

For example, you do not make fun of the Holocaust and mock at Jews with that. Just like you should not laugh at a man whose son, brother or father died recently. If you still do, don’t be surprised! It’s a mouth full of shit that will bring you a nose full of blood. And this is nothing to do with §223 in the German criminal code (physical injury). Because in such a case, you are the one who takes away the right number one of any man – every man has got a dignity which is untouchable and to be respected.

These are the things that those lambs seem to forget.

Just like Theo van Gogh, a satirist and director from the Netherlands. He as well played with edged tools concerning Islam and the Koran. His criticism digged his grave. In 2004 he was murdered by a Muslim extremist for his attempt to ride a tiger. Idiot. Serves him right.

And in order to prevent these happenings in the future, the state should declare a limitation on free speech by law, if the people are too shatter-brained to identify certain threats if they violate certain taboos. If they can’t protect oneself, the law gotta do this.

Composed of those two images

Before writing another sunday-blog, I remembered that from our elite-IBMAN-class, I am the only guy to pass the German military service

Here again, I began to think about the question that I used to ask and answer myself – if you must do something for the state (because the health check in the army said you’re OK to serve in the military), what would you decide to do? Join the army for 9 months (recently they have been turned into 6 already), or rather do the alternative service?

First question of course – what are the pro’s and the con’s of each variant?

At first, everybody would say – do the alternative service!! Never mind the fact that you have to care for some old grannies and their husbands in special homes for old people who have no one who would take care of them at home, plus is, that you do not have to endure the military stuff, everything is chilled and relaxed, nobody screams or shouts at you, you are a free guy and you are happy with everything. You get your  money and everything is fine!

I thought different.

Driving a tank is much better than pushing a wheelchair!! That was my slogan when I decided to put on some camouflage and combat boots. Civilian service is something for pussies!!! Real men do the army!!!!

Well well, it took time for me to recognize what I had stepped in.

The first three months we were just fucked. Nothing else. From AM and until PM. Night alarms, 3 days training-camps with almost no sleep, dirty work, cleaning our sectors nonstop, constant brainfucks… It was too late to take back my decision, but I told myself to remain standfest and not to retreat, I wanted to get this over with. Because, apparently, the time after those 3 months, as so many other people said, are heaven on earth. No one treats you like dump anymore, your colleagues and even disciplinarians are your friends now, your daily workday is relaxed and  not beating the shit out of you.

Once again I had to face bad luck.

The place where I came to after the first three months was far away from the one I previously had imagined. The nightmare continued in almost the same shape as before. Although there were some exceptions, but not too many. At least I was sure to get in my room in front of my computer every day after 16.00 and had only to be on duty at 7.00 the next morning.

That had to last for almost half a year, minus some holidays.

When I had my last day, on the very same day I left the Barracks, Lower Saxony and, all in all, Western Germany, behind me. I left it all behind me and went to Berlin, to seek a better life. I made a little retrospective. What exactly army-like did I do since the last 9 months? Uh, I fired up some rounds with the G36 (automatic assault rifle produced by Heckler and Koch, shortly H&K, used in the German Armed Forces since 2001) and the P8 (semi-automatic pistol, same producer). And I had to wear camouflage. And the army-barrette which I hated so bad.

And did a lot of dirty work for quite a low pay. Not very cool.

On the train from Hannover to Berlin I opened up my notebook and launched Call Of Duty 4, an ego-shooter in the military modern warfare scenario. For the first time I compared a video game with reality. In all other situations of life, it would be absurd. But this time, it fitted.

That was, all in all, much cooler than all this army bullshit I thought would be like.

Today, I have to say that I am endlessly proud and thankful for being a free man and studying away from all this crap. I wouldn’t like to spend years there, like many comrades decided to. Or even to study there, become an officer and afterwards get into Afghanistan ot Kosovo or something like that. Thank God I will never be one of them. Because after Afghanistan, no one is likely to play Call Of Duty anymore.

I don’t regret that I went to the army instead of going to a hospital and babysit some inpatients. Everything happened like it did, so it is too late for tears anyway. Still, I made a certain life experience and saw what I’ve got, even though we never were really able to prove our possibilities apart from this camp-story.

I met a lot of beautiful people, who in some cases were much more for me than close friends or family or stuff. They were there when you needed someone by your side, and you were there for them. They helped me out when the whole world did not. In many cases, we were like brothers. Too bad that those times last no more than 3 months.

But if I had, with this experience, once again the chance to decide between A and B, I would not be that certain of the answer I was certain of back then.

link

The recent days I had a thought again. I was wondering – what is home? Everyone uses this expression, it is everywhere to read, but there is probably no universal explanation, as certainly, just like an answer to the question “what is the sense of life?” , everyone has got his own terminology of this meaning.

So, why not put some of these thoughts to paper?

Actually, (to the local students), you are home, aren’t you? No matter if you’re not directly from the city you are from – still, you are in the country where you grew up, where your friends and family are. You belong here.

My question – do you appreciate that?

Because I met so many Germans who never said a word about their national identification. Or the fact that they make themselves at home, feel comfortable, have a calm soul. It’s never mentioned by anyone.

Probably everyone is used to taking it for granted already, since it is usual to grow up back to back, generation for generation, so that the majority of the local German population has got their roots kind of deep in the place where they come from.

And to our guest students – do you miss your homes? Do you wish to get back ASAP?

I guess you do.

What is really a solace for you – you will come back. For sure. And since you are now taken away from your home, you learned and experienced life abroad, without home, friends and family? This is what makes people appreciate and cherish what they have .

As always, the million-dollar-question is: Why do I write about those things and how am I connected to my own topic?

Our IBMAN-corps contains two major groups – local students, who are at home, and foreign students, who are abroad but will return home. Too bad that there always must be someone who stands out of the crowd and fits nowhere.

This someone is me.

I have something from both sides, but still differ absolutely. On the one hand, I am officially a German citizen, local student etc. On the other hand, I am a foreigner, still. But the bad news is – in contrast to the dear guest students, I have nowhere to go when I’m done.

In fact, since a little kid, I am a wanderer for life. Since the age of 3 I am brought from one country to another, from city to village, from village to a metropolis. No rest, no stability, nothing constant. Like a prisoner who is thrown from camp to camp steadily.

The worst thing is – I never got in German society as a fully integrated member. But what hurts even more – in the place where I originally am from, where I go very often and really talk, think, act, look and am like the others, I am still regarded as a stranger.

As you see, it’s not sweet to be caught in the abyss between two worlds. My family always was a very unstable thing, too many wars occured within a party which actually should support each other instead of fucking up each other’s life. My friends have all one thing in common – they are either million miles away, or they are no real friends. Probably because you have nothing to lose,  you are eager to change location. I did the first step on the way to claim back my Fortress Home – I left the province, stood up on my own feet and got back to the metropolis. This was only one action in an assault of unexplored area.

When I decided that I want to go to Berlin, I knew what I was stepping into, I could estimate what is waiting for me. But my target, to get back home, is very hard to master. For one major reason.

I don’t even know where my home is.

I never had one. And maybe I will never have. But struggling for something you don’t know is still better than consciously sitting on your butt and staring up the ceiling, right?

I’m not sure, where exactly my home could be, the variants are numerous. Odessa, southern Ukraine at the Black Sea where I am originally from? St. Petersburg, a city I fell in love with when I got into contact with ordinary average people from there while visiting this city? Siberia, where my ancient roots are? Wherever of these I would go – at first look, I’d be no more than just a tourist. But who knows what happens if you take a closer look, and the surrounding takes a closer look at you?

Maybe none of these will quench my thirst for home, something I never had. But I know two things.

1. My home may be anywhere, but is certainly not where I am now.
2. Whatever may come – if a man has nothing to lose, it is always worth a try to maybe achieve your personal target.

Thanks for your attention.

picture taken from here

Well, here we go again with the same old song. Never mind the last blog, of course it does bother me how life will go on.

So, there I was, sitting around and wondering why my life seems so empty and seems to pass me by, why I have no energy and mood for even cleaning up my dishes. Why everyday when I should do something for me, for my life, not abandon my university and myself, why still it happened.

Sitting and trying to figure out the reason for all that, I finally got it.

This reason had a name and about 50 million customers. It was known as vkontakte.ru , a russian analogue to Facebook.

In other words, I became a victim of the internet, a junkie. In particular we are talking about social networks.

I suddenly started to realize, that this day, I put myself in front of the computer and sat for hours and hours and was doing particularly nothing !!! Except sitting around on this damn site and checking out some stupid crap. By the time that I could valuably use for doing something for my education, or read a book, or do some sports, or maybe meet some mates.

I had to face this truth – internet took my life away.

It took quite a while to realize that. Previously, I spent my freetime not only by sitting on the inet, but playing some games on my notebook as well.

But this all has got to end. I want my life back.

And I already took the first step towards it – deleted all games from my computer. But unfortunately, there is some piece of work left to do – get rid of the internet addiction.

Question is – how? First of all (the link to the wikipedia entry of vkontakte.ru will tell you as well), my account on Russian-Facebook is not really completely deleteable. Even if it would be possible, making a new registration, refunding the friends I previously had in the list, and so on, would be a minor problem.

Not the site is the problem. The user is.

To be more accurate – the user’s unlimited access.

However, I had to get rid of this problem. And I suddenly remembered what my dad told me about real junkies, how they have to be treated. They have to be put away from the city and get into a Siberian village where in the radius of 500 km you got only Taiga and forests and ice and bears. By getting in such a location, the junkie completely forgets about his drug addiction. Just as long as he remains in this place.

In fact – the knowledge about no access to the addictive substance automatically reduces the negative effects connected to the cold turkey.

I know what to do. If I can’t completely take distance from the IT world, and need my notebook and the internet in particular for my education at the Berlin School of Economics, then at least to dramatically reduce my access would already do it. The thing is, if in order to go online it is required to go to my university instead of going to the office room in my flat and pressing the ON-button, it will happen much more seldom and only on purpose.

Plan looks as follows. On the very first possible day I’ll go to my provider and quit the contract (I’ll find a way to do this without having to wait for 2 years) concerning my internet. Then I’ll have no more internet at home. When it is necessary, about once per week, I’ll bring my notebook to the university, write my blog, download new files from the ILIAS-platform, and work with them at home. Offline.

And if I am online already, once per week, then of course it is alright to go to ICQ or the vkontakte-site, answer some mails, write some mails as well to someone… But not to meaninglessly hang in there for the whole day.

And in this way, I hope to come back into reality again.  Hope it will work and I will have no obstacles.

I’d like to tell you upfront – spare me your sympathy! [Nothing personal, just clarifying]

When I was right now sitting around like a plant and wondering what this life is good for (no, I’m not threatened by suicide), I remembered that it was time for another blog. I won’t lie, I’m just doing this because I have to.

So… I was thinking what to write about. And decided, why not write about my current mood?

Actually, I was wondering what is wrong.

Apparently, nothing happened in my life. So there was no reason to be sad. Or happy. Or anyhow. Nothing did hurt. I wasn’t sick. And neither was I on drugs.

Everything should be fine in such a case?

Unfortunately, it was not.

Last time, I had a depression, for almost no reason. Although, wait, that would be a lie. There was a reason.

The reason was – there was no reason for nothing.

Life started to bore me. Nothing happened. 3 days a week I’m going to university. Once a week to job. Once in a hundred years I suceeded to invite some mate to a beer. Or vodka. Or whatever. And the rest of the time I was sick of everything, even though I wasn’t doing nothing.

My attempts to find out what was the reason for my depressed mood failed continuously. Probably it was the fact, that all my loved ones turned their backs on me, and my friends were either million miles away or simply did not exist. But there wasn’t anything I could do about that.

I tried to tell myself that I don’t care about that. And that life goes on.

The first part suceeded. The second did not.

I thought depression is over. Somehow it turned into a permanent shape of mine. Now I really do not care no more. About nothing.

Even though I do realize that life is just a matter of attitude and perspective, I know that, looking on the picture above, I am the guy bound to the balloon, and I do not care. I’ve become careless, numb, a wreck of what used to be. Just sitting at home, in front of my goddamn PC, smoking my cigarettes, eating every now and then and not leaving my 4 walls.

What is the worst about it all – it does not bother me at all. Even though I know that you can’t go on this way forever.

But I don’t want to change anything. Probably I’m masochist and like it when life sucks. Never thought about that, but neither do I exclude such a possibility.

All this time I do write all this crap about my depressive careless period and ask myself – WHY THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?

Alright, I have to. For the course. But even though I became a douchebag, I still remember that I NEED to do this blog. Wasn’t I supposed to not give a shit about nothing? But now I do something for my bachelor, because I don’t want to give up what I have been fighting for during the school and the army.

How can those two things take place simultaneously??????

Probably I’m just a lunatic, that’s what I am. Probably even schizophrenic.But fact is, I’m not normal.

Sorry to load your brain with this. Forgive me. Hope you don’t go crazy as I do.

Thanks for your attention. Although, I don’t care.

No, my blog will NOT be about h1n1. It’ll be a continue to the previous blog. Rather, an extension. An answer to the question “what’s so bad about the country you are living in now, if you can’t wait to get the hell outta here?”

Many people call me psycho.

Because the apparently best socialised country in the world, where wealth is almost guaranteed, is not good enough for me. Truly, there are things APART from my personal lack of social comfort in here that piss me off.

The recent days I had a situation.

I woke up, sick, feeling like shit. Coughing, headache, pain in my whole body. Just another cold, I thought. But unfortunately,  I felt worse with every second. I already called a friend from university, asking him to bring along some aspirine. After drinking those, I thought I am reborn. All the pain was gone with the wind, and I was happy to continue my day at university without any trouble.

Fast forward 3 hours.

As soon as the aspirine had no more impact on my organism, the torturer of mine came back with a vengeance. Not only had the pain been tripled, but I was freezing being fully dressed. And the pain in the whole body did not seem to stop.

I did have colds or even fevers before. But this time it seemed to me I am one step away from death. Due to the current H1N1-virus (aka the “Swine Flu”), I heard that this epidemy that is actually just getting started and caused some deaths (Ukraine is already crawling over with people carrying masks) has extreme fever and crawling in the skin together with pain in all body parts as symptoms.

I thought I’m next.

I broke out in panic, as the pain became unendurable, and the frost was too much to take. In late evening, I went to the hospital. Previously I already had said goodbye to everyone I know on Russian-Facebook and hoped the hospital would save my life.

Feeling like shortly before my demise, I did not look and sound too healthy, though. Everyone around me could remark this with unaided eyes, but no one asked me whether he or she can help me out somehow. Getting off at the nearest metro-stop and getting to the hospital was a nightmare. It rained and was windy, which already was killing me.

When I got inside, and I was calling for help, coughing and screaming my lungs out, as I was not in shape to find out the right place to go, only half an hour later an old man who was just standing around there told me to get to the emergency station which was in direction XYZ.

Alright, there was something the nurses and their male mates did. The took the 10-Euro-fee, laid me on a deck, helped me taking off my winter jacket (refused to do this without me taking it off myself, even though I could not move a finger, due to my symptoms), put me a mask on, injected me some “Tap Water” (I call it so, as the effect of it was comparable) which they presented as a fever- and painkiller and told me to wait for the doc.

Now I felt like a junkie during a cold turkey.

The cold made me twist on the deck, the pain made me scream like a pig with a blade between the legs, I was not far from becoming lunatic. The drop bottle was already empty, and to my request of doing something to kill off the cold, the nurses replied they would at least bring me a blanket to wrap me up.

For hours, nothing happened.

Just for one time, a nurse arrived, told me to shut up and stop sreaming and crying and making panic and vacated.

For fuck’s sake, I thought I had swine flu and was death victim number 36 or how many there were already… Of course I was in panic!! Plus… I was really feeling so.

But neither a check for my wellbeing, nor a refill of the “Tap Water” in the drop bottle, not even my promised blanket were brought to me. Nobody intented to come and save me. I always thought my German sucks… But the knowledge of English and Russian did not help me to get someones attention, as the words “HELP”, “COLD”, “PAIN” were put on the hospital’s blacklist, unfortunately in all languages. I put the needle out of my vein myself, removed all the cable stuff that was connected with me (what for, since no one gives a shit?) and went to them in order to ask them personally for something which can numb my suffering. I received nothing but ignorance and the advice to go back to my “bed”. Should’ve packed my stuff and moved home, as there it was more comfortable to lie around and freeze. But I had blankets there, in contrast to this hospital.

I recognised that this screaming for help is no good. I covered myself in my winter jacket and, as soon as the cold occupied my corps, I started to breath thrice as fast, in order to make my heart pump faster and put the blood through my veins faster and to warm it from the inside that way. This idea came spontaneously and I had to do this for about 2 hours, in order not to turn into a piece of ice cream.

After 2 hours, finally, the doc came. Halleluyah!

Just two or three knocks on my back, two pills against fever and ache (having the very same effect as the “Tap Water”) and the good news that it is NOT H1N1, still did not put me on my feet and improve my wellbeing. He couldn not really tell me what I have, just a “small” viral infect, and told me to take some time-out at home. No one of the passing nurses helped me up from my deck, although I asked in a polite and calm way. Just ignorance. One of them helped, but I had to persuade him to do this.

After I went off the taxi and got home, I discovered some pills at home, killing off fever and pain. I took a double dosis, went to sleep, and felt like reborn once again. It was too simple.

But the situation at the hospital still makes me sick.

Was this too much to take to bring a sick man a blanket? Or an effective painkiller? Or maybe not to ignore him NONSTOP?

I was wondering what those bastards get their cash for. If they did not do nothing, even though it is their job. And this is not happening in a meaningless one-stoplight-town – it happened in Berlin!! In the capital of Germany, Top10 ranker of world metropolises.

In comparison, I was in St. Petersbourgh, Russia. There, we thought medicine is so bad, that it takes maybe 2 days until an emergency-van arrives. But no, in march, I visited some friends there, one of them had a heart attack in the early morning (5am). We called the emergency instantly. Maybe 10 minutes later they were there, took a look at the sick friend, took him to a hospital where he was at least not completely ignored by the personnel, and all fast and for free.

I decided not to call the emergency for myself. I feared the bill, did not want to take a credit to pay it off. And the fee was a complete waste, as the service in the Virchow-hospital of Berlin was horrible.

After all this, I know just a few things.

1. I passed service in the German Armed Forces, took part in the medic squad. There, our sergeants told us one phrase, and reminded us of it everyday: “To see a man, no matter whether he is a junk, alcoholic, terrorist, your uncle, but main thing – in trouble, it is your duty as a citizen to at least find out what’s wrong and try to help. Ignorance is against the law.” According to this, the staff in the hospital deserves a bullet in the head, as they break two laws simultaneously.
2. This is a paradigm of the fact, why I hate German doctors. I previously already had some serious experiences with this, neither of them was too good. Two serious operations including a severe aftermath was already enough, but here went another shock from the German medicine-sector.

All the people who will ever tell me how great shit is in Germany – they have no clue. It is not the main reason why I wish to get away from here, but just another thing that makes me sick. Don’t take it personally, everyone!

This question seems to be too old to be current. But have you, actually, answered it for yourself?

In Germany, for example, there are thousands of questionnaires which ask the very same question – why business management? The most common replies are “because I don´t know what to study instead” or “because I want to earn lots of money”.

In other words, people who participate in the economy are either clueless people or simply greedy sharks?

This case does not need to be. If the majority sees it this way does not mean this is a global fact.

You want an example? You´ll get it.

To answer the question why you decided to become a business manager is left up to you. Anyways, I will tell you why I made my decision in the favor of this subject.

1. On the one hand, yes, of course, it does bring in much money if you are good enough. And without money, no one can survive, this is true. And I am no exception to the rule, either.
2. Surely, I wanted to make full use of my foreign language and mathematic skills, and not in the position of a teacher.
3. The demand for business people will not be quenched or exhausted that quick. If medics or lawyers or architects or whomever may have problems of finding a job every now and again, a businessman will find a job for sure. In any place in the world.

This seems kind of obvious and nothing that stands out of the crowd, apparently.

In fact, that´s by far not the main reason.

Not that I´m crying out my soul to you, but the fact, that fate brought me to a country where I could not find myself within 18 years, can not be denied. By anyone.

Being away from home, from the people you love and you would like to pass time with, in the city where you are just like everyone else instead of being a cast-away, etc… That is not too easy to endure. What hurts the most is, that there is nothing I can do to change this.

At least, not yet.

I put myself to rest, started to reflect what I want and what I need. And the answer was not “a creditcard that´s got no limit” ((C) Nickelback). The answer was much simpler and clearer.

I want home.

To be like everyone else there. With my friends and family that are left there. In the country and city which I love and feel home at. And at the same time to be able to feed myself and my future wife and unborn kids, even though I never attended neither a school nor a university in this land. Not to worry about what to eat tomorrow. And not to worry about my soul.

To start again. To take back my life that I never had.
So, and why do you study business management??

Even though it seems that all business-ideas of the universe were already used – there is a possibility to start something without further investments. Without having studied business before. And even without being bound to a certain location. Preassuming you have got internet access.

The answer is clear – we are talking about internet business.

It may even be easier than it sounds. Nevermind all those instructions which tell you how to get rich sitting in front of your laptop – internet business requires knowledge which you have to seek in the same location – the WWW.

The possibilities are unlimited. Question is how far you will go.

One possibility – I won’t tell you how I know, sorry – is to make use of the Google-based Page-Rank and to post links to other sites on your own site. This posting is in the interest of the webmasters who want their sites to be higher in Google when someone enters certain keywords and searches for something, e.g. “Leather jackets”. The more links are posted to the certain site, the higher the pagerank of the site the link is standing on, and the better the RELEVANCE (in other words – the relevance in a connection between a site dealing with tracktors and a site about rock & roll is equal zero) between them – the better the position of the site of the webmaster in google.

They even pay money for those links.

That is the main part of the earning. You just look for domains in the whole inet which are about to expire, just take them over, register them on your name after paying a certain, not too high sum, and make this domains PR rise by putting links from your other sites to this one. Step by step, your number of sites with attractive PR’s will rise, so will your money.

Like each business, e-business has ad- and disadvantages.

As said in the title – you have got almost nothing to lose. You may start it all with zero cash. Besides, you can work on it wherever you are, under the condition that you are on line. Just keep selling those links to interested people and talking to them on forums for webmasters and contact them on icq.

There may be one disadvantage – the real “investment” in it is time. And sitting in front of your computer a lot of time. And seeking tons of information.

This is the only serious barricade for most beginning e-businesspeople.

Too bad, though.